Hell's Mirage
by Yahnkehy
Summary: Tentatively re-vamping this one. I am uploading the edited versions of existing chapters and we'll see if that sparks my muse's return.
1. Hell's Mirage

Hell's Mirage

**Hell's Mirage**

By: Yahnkehy

Disclaimer: If I owned it do ya really think things would have turned out the way they did? Didn't think so.

Enjoy this little trip into the warped recesses of my brain. The first part of this chapter should seem a bit familiar… cause it was the beginning of episode 35 so I claim no creative license in that particular part of this fic... only what happens next.

Warnings: This fic contains some graphic sexual content, loads of swearing and some flips in the original story line.

A/N: Alright people, this is **(a revamping of)** my first FY fic and I really hope that you guys like it. This is intended as a one shot but may leach on and grow a little bit depending on reader response. Please be gentle, flames will be laughed at while genuine criticism will be taken into consideration.

PS: The title is a hint as to where we begin –episode 35 of the original FY series.

"Talking"

_thinking_

LOVE!

_I have to get it back! I can't believe I let it get taken from me! _My breath puffed in the freezing morning air as I chased the beast responsible for my failure.

Trees, with their small drifts of snow and naked branches, flashed past me as I tore through the dense woods, Tamahome and Tasuki's screams for me to stop grew ever more faint as I poured on more speed. _I just have to get it back!_ The wolf was faster; he was putting so much distance between us that there was no way I could catch him. I had to try; nothing could keep me from getting the Shinzaho back from that monster.

A stitch formed in my side but I pressed on, the cold air burned my lungs but I could not stop, fear took control of my mind yet I could not give up. "Give it back!" I begged, hopelessly praying Ashitare would drop it.

A root or branch caught the toe of my shoe and I tripped falling flat on my face in the powdery snow and by the time I could force myself up enough to see the wolf he was gone, vanished. I could almost cry. "Give it back. Please just give it back." I sobbed into the drift of snow, "give it back. It's just not fair, we finally…we finally got it. Nuriko gave his life for it, but…!"

"What's wrong, Miaka?" an aged voice inquired to my left.

I looked up and was met with a face I dared not believe was there. "Taiitsukun!" I cried, hope filling my breast. "What'll I do, Taiitsukun? It's my fault because I am so stupid! Without the other Shinzaho in Sairou, I can't summon Suzaku!

"Oh, for heaven's sake. I just came to check on you, and…" she rolled her eyes at me; can't say I blamed her.

"Which way did he go? I have to go get it!" I cried as I got to my feet.

"You're saying you _want_ to go to the Seiryuu camp?" She almost looked surprised and I frowned a moment.

_Taiitsukun is almost impossible to surprise…maybe showing some backbone was a good idea. "_It's my fault it was stolen! I'll go!"

"Hold on a moment," she said cryptically as she folded her hands together, steepled her fingers under her chin and was quiet for a few moments. "It seems the Shinzaho is now in Nakago's hands. It is now surrounded by his life force. A barrier."

"A barrier?" I repeated stupidly, unable to comprehend her for a moment.

"His life force is strong. You couldn't break it as you are now." The Holy Oracle replied.

"I can't?" I said, feeling every small fragment of hope that had clung to my breast vanish.

"Well... there is one thing you could try. But, it's..." She trailed off.

"Wh-what should I do? Tell me!" Hope once more burgeoned in my heart. _Whatever it is I'll do it!_

Taiitsukun gave me a grim look, "Intercourse." Horror filled me and I visibly flinched. "I'm not saying to catch him THAT way." She continued, "Male-female coupling is also known as 'bou-chuu jutsu' and is one of the ways you can physically take control of another person's life force."

"You mean have sex...?" I trailed off.

"If performed properly, the life force can be strengthened. If a mistake is made, the life force can be taken control of and the mind confused. In other words, you can use it to disrupt his life force." The almost clinical way she expressed this idea made my skin crawl.

"B- but I thought the Priestess had to be a virgin!" I cried casting about for any reason to not follow through with this heinous act.

"That's a myth." Taiitsukun answered her face expressionless.

"What?" I shout as I remember the pain I had to put Tamahome through in these last few weeks. All of that pain over a myth, but why Taiitsukun?

"If I didn't say that, the Suzaku seishi would exhaust their powers with the priestess and end up completely useless, wouldn't they?" The Oracle's voice seemed cold. "Your friend Yui isn't a virgin, is she?"

That revelation has left me struck dumb, horror of what my only action to recover the Shinzaho was almost enough to make me vomit.

"Either way, forget about it. You couldn't do it." Taiitsukun said in an almost challenging tone.

_Have sex? With HIM? I couldn't! But, I... Still, if I do it, I could weaken his life force and take the Shinzaho back!_

"They are calling you. Now forget about this idea and head out for Sairou at once!" the Oracle said gravely.

_Nuriko gave his life so I could get the Shinzaho. And everyone else has suffered. This time if _I'M_ the sacrifice… _My mind was made up. "Taiitsukun, where is Nakago?"

o0o

"Miaka! Miaka! Where the fuck are ya? Miaka!" Tasuki growled when he heard no answer and drug a hand through his unruly flame colored hair. With a sigh he kept going, looking everywhere for a sign of her pink coat, desperately hoping he found her before something terrible happened.

After about ten more minutes of walking he heard quick puffs of breath coming from just behind and to the right of him. He thought of calling out but discarded the idea almost before it formed. Shedding his green winter coat and his blue jacket, leaving him in only his white pants and shirt, he crept through the brush and waited for who ever was coming his way to show up.

The first thing that he saw was reddish-brown buns neatly tied with pink ribbon, then her pink winter coat caught his eye as she topped a rise. _Miaka!_ With a feral smirk he leapt out of the brush and tackled the young girl to the ground. "Caught you Miaka, ne?"

"Tasuki!" she cried, heart in her throat. _Oh no! What am I gonna do? I can't let him take me back to the others I have to get the Shinzaho back!_

His eyes narrowed slightly, "Where ya goin'; it wasn't back ta camp. Camp is that a way," he informed her with a jerk of his head.

_What to do? What to do! Think Miaka, what are his weak points? What would make him let you go and not follow? Wait! He's nervous around women… _A blush colored her neck and cheeks at what she was about to say. "Tasuki, what do men want in a woman they want to…be intimate with?"

Tasuki blushed three shades of red and averted his face; "Someone like you…shouldn't worry about that. Why would ya wanna know?"

She was quiet for a moment as she wracked her brain for a reason she would want that kind of information. "For when Tamahome and I get married. I don't want to disappoint him." Shame filled her as she spoke; Nakago was the only one who was ever going to know her in that way. Once the deed was done she would take the Shinzaho from him, get the other one in Sairou, summon Suzaku and get home… without Tamahome.

Tasuki's eyes widened, "Let him teach ya. It will give ya both pleasure for him to teach ya as ya go rather than ya already knowin' how. He'd think ya were unfaithful if ya knew too much about what ya were doin'."

Miaka closed her eyes against the tears welling up; "I just hate the thought of making him unhappy. Please Tasuki, tell me how to entice a man into wanting me."

Tasuki's eyes closed for a moment. When he opened them again Miaka could see how much he didn't want to say anything for fear of shocking her.

"Tasuki, please. I'm begging. I just want to make him happy." Self-disgust welled within her as she pleaded for him to tell her.

With a sigh he leaned his head down and pressed his forehead against hers. "Alright, Miaka. I'll tell ya what ya wanna know."

* * *

So what do ya think of my first chapter? I haven't decided if I'm gonna allow Nakago to actually ruin her or if I'm gonna let coughTasukicough rescue her. For some reason I like Tasuki more than Tamahome. May be because I like redheads, or because fangs really get me…hell it might even be the tessen, but whatever it is it's HAWT!

Much love to anyone who decides to review.

Not too many changes from the first version I was mostly pleased with how this chapter turned out, though the following chapters might be a little different -a lot. :D


	2. Lessons

Hell's Mirage

**Hell's Mirage**

By: V.M.

**A/N:** The speed in which this chapter was written has everything to do with my first reviewer, KittyLynne. Without her heartwarming thoughts on this fic I would probably have taken much longer to write this second part. --tacklehuggleglomps KittyLynne-- THANK YOU SO MUCH! My heart swells with love and adoration every time I re-read your eloquent review. (I have read it so many times that I can almost recite it verbatim!) --offers plate of fudge brownies and bottle of sake as thanks-- **(revised version)**

**Warnings this chapter**: Suggestive language, suggestive situations, and swearing, courtesy of Tasuki and Miaka's lil mind. :P

**Part B: Lessons**

With a sigh Tasuki rolled away from her, lying on his back in the snow. After a furtive glance at him from beneath her lashes, she found that he was wearing only his under shirt and his white, loose breeches. "Tasuki! Where is your coat and jacket? You'll freeze!" Miaka cried as she sat up, pulled her winter coat off and tried to cover him with it. His hands captured her wrists, keeping her at bay, "Tasuki?" Miaka inquired, looking in to his shuttered eyes.

"Wear your hair down, leave it tussled. Men like the disheveled look," he stated tearing his eyes from hers.

Miaka calmly reached up and untied her ribbons, allowing her hair to fall where it may. "Like this?"

His eyes darted back to hers, "Yeah."

She felt confused for a moment. "Just leaving my hair down is going to attract…Tamahome to my bed?" Miaka could feel her blush returning in full force. _I almost said Nakago instead of Tamahome! I'll have to watch it; Tasuki is smart and he'd catch on if I let anything slip._

His brow wrinkled a bit, a small crease appearing between his eyebrows. "The blush helps, makes ya appear vulnerable. Do that if ya can."

She sighed and stood up, "Tasuki, this is going to take forever if you make me yank each piece of information out of you. Please, just tell me. I need to know!"

His face colored slightly, "Damnit Miaka! Do ya know how hard it is to tell ya shit like this? Ya look so damn sweet and innocent that it's really hard to look at ya like a woman instead of a kid."

She froze, _He sees me as a kid? Damnit! How am I gonna get Nakago to fall for this if I look like a kid? _Miaka frowned slightly and unbuttoned the first three buttons of her shirt, revealing the tops and valley of her breasts, and allowed one side to slide down showing off one creamy shoulder. Reaching down, she ripped the bottom of her shirt, revealing a small portion of her stomach. "How about now? Do I look like a kid now?"

His eyes went from uneasy to hot in a second flat. The pain of uncertainty and shame died as soon as those eyes reached hers only to be replaced by the spark of arousal.

"No, now ya look like a woman begging to be loved." He sighed and shook his head as if to dispel some mental image. "Ya almost look like ya've already been taken. If I didn't know any better, I'd say ya were looking for someone to seduce." His eyes darkened, "Where did ya say ya were heading?"

Miaka froze again, unsure of what she should say, so she spit out the first thing that came to mind; "How does a man show the woman he is 'taking' that he wants her? Could you tell me?"

Tasuki's eyes widened, "What? Hell no, I ain't tellin' ya somethin' like that. You an' Tama can figure that out on your own."

Her heart was pounding but she begged him anyway. "Please, I just don't want to do anything wrong. I would hate to disappoint him."

His eyes darkened to warm amber. "Just this once," he whispered as he stood and then offered a hand to help her up.

Miaka stood and his arms wrapped around her; one hand resting on the back of her head, the other slowly traveled down her back to rest on her hip. Miaka's blush deepened as her arms rose to wrap around his hips, her pulse racing at his closeness.

"This is one way," he whispered in Miaka's ear as his hands changed positions. "And this is another."

Both of his hands rested gently on her posterior, pulling her hips forwards and cradling them in between his own. She could feel something pressed against her belly but was too shy to ask what it was. _Is this how Nakago will hold me? Will he cause such heat to flood me when he does? Will Tamahome cause such a response?_ Miaka shivered, expectantly looking up in to his eyes and almost pleaded for him to kiss her and dispel her fear of what she was doing.

"You're cold," he whispered moving one hand to caress Miaka's face.

Miaka's eyes closed of their own volition, and he stepped back. He picked up and tossed her winter coat back to her. "I'll be right back. Do not move from here."

Miaka nodded, pulling her coat on to cover herself, and watched him walk away, wondering why he stepped back instead of holding her closer. She waited until he was out of sight to turn tail and run for the cover of a few trees, hiding there until he left. _Tasuki, please understand. I have to get the Shinzaho back; this is the only way! I'm sorry, Tasuki…Tamahome, I know that I am betraying you by doing this but I really have no choice!_

"Oi! Miaka! Where did ya go?" Tasuki frowned, _Something ain't right. There is no reason for her to really want to know all that stuff. She never seemed to want ta know about it before, so why now?_

"Tasuki!" a male voice called.

"Oi, Tama. Over here." Tasuki called as he pulled his jacket and coat back on. He followed his brother seishi's voice and found him standing next to his horse. "What's going on? Where's Miaka?"

Miaka watched from the shelter of trees, praying that Tasuki wouldn't tell Tamahome what they had been talking about.

"Saw Taiitsukun a few minutes ago. She said Miaka was not feeling well and went with her to recover and Miaka would meet up with us in Sairou as soon as she was feeling better." Tamahome said as he swung up on to his horse. "Let's go."

Miaka felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she watched them leave, _Tasuki seems to be wary now, if he sees me he will take me back with him. _Miaka's heart felt crushed, _Please, forgive me for what I am about to do. I have no choice!_

As soon as Miaka was sure they weren't coming back, she took off in the opposite direction. Taiitsukun had told her how to get to where she needed to be, and each step she took led her farther and farther from her protectors.

o0o

I stood on a hill and looked down on the Kutou camp. This was my last chance to chicken out and run back to safety –I couldn't take it, but it felt nice to have the option for a few more minutes. Squaring my shoulders I slowly began my descent, the only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that I was going to get the Shinzaho back. Come hell or high water, I _would_ get it back!

The smell of food made my stomach rumble and I could feel my body moving faster down the hill to get closer to that delectable scent. I tried to stop my self but my stomach has always had more of the 'eat-now-worry-later' kind of mentality, which has gotten me in trouble so many times that it isn't even funny anymore.

I paused outside the yuurt and took a deep breath, _You can do this Miaka, keep your coat on until you can get some food in your belly and then you can worry about…well you know what you have to do. Buck up, it can't be all that bad. Nakago is really quite handsome, maybe he'll be a gentle lover?_ I sighed and mentally smacked myself. _Nakago would probably be as gentle as a viper. Time to face the music._

I crouched down and tried to peak inside to get a quick idea of what I'd be facing when I saw a pair of booted feet plant themselves in my line of sight.

_I am so dead. Nice knowing ya, Miaka; see you in the after-life!_

o0o/

Tasuki slowed his horse to a stop. _Somethin' ain't right! I don't care what Tama said; Miaka is in danger. I c'n feel it!_

"Oi, Tasuki! Why did you stop, no da?" Chichiri asked slowing his own mount and turning to face the bandit.

"I gotta go check something. I'll catch up with ya later." With that he wheeled his mount and rode back towards their last camp, towards the fear he could feel pouring off of Miaka.

"Oi, Tasuki! I'll come with you!" called Tamahome.

A grin settled on Tasuki's face. "Thanks, Tama. Let's go."

* * *

So, what do ya think of the **(revamp of the) **second chapter? Hope ya aren't too disappointed. I did try to keep the same feelings of hope tempered with fear as what I had in chapter 1. **Also, things will be much different from the first round of posting. I decided that I wanted certain things to change as they were the reason for the muse's departure in the first place. XD**


	3. Paying the Price

Hell's Mirage

**Hell's Mirage**

**By:** V.M.

**A/N:** Yay! Chapter three already! Hope I can keep giving out such quick updates, I also hope ya like this one. I took more time on it and made sure ta beta it twice…granted I had ta beta this myself but hey, who cares as long as it's a chapter that ya can follow and enjoy, then that's all that matters! Ya will have ta forgive my Tasuki-ish speech as I had ta spend all day in his character just ta get the right feel for the next chapter (chapter 4). Do ya know how hard it is ta stay in character and pay bills? Had ta start yellin' at my truck like it was a horse and flamin' people who cut me off just so I didn't drop out of my character. Had fun playin' Tasuki today, it is very cathartic. (Yay! I used ACT words! Lmao!)

Much love to my new Muse KittyLynne who, with her fabulous taste in stories (wink, wink), has motivated me to pump out chapters like they are going out of style. After reading her FY fics I find I am humbled by her sweet praise of my lowly struggles. Thanks Ms KittyLynne, I owe ya one! ENJOY!

**Warnings this chapter:** Language (duh!), adult situations, mild adult content, and Nakago. Yes, I did give Nakago his own warning; he's the only man that can destroy a woman with his glare and melt her in to a puddle of lust with a smirk and not even break a sweat!

Tasuki Muse: Don't own, don't so.

V.M.: (pat's Tasuki's head) That's 'sue' sweetie. Don't own don't sue.

Tasuki Muse: (frowns) Feh! So, sue same smell. Git back ta writin' toots!

V.M.: Toots? (evil smirk) Oh Tasuki-chan…Lrekka…SHINEEEENNNN!

Tasuki Muse: (belches smoke)

V.M.: I win! (huge grin) Now we play 'doctor'!

Tasuki Muse: 0.o;; (hides)

**Part C: Paying the Price**

"Welcome, Priestess of Suzaku. You arrived just in time for dinner." A smirk graced Nakago's face as he stepped back from the doorway. "Won't you come in?"

I had never seen him in such casual clothes; gone was the dragon armor that had become almost like a trademark, in it's place were soft looking leather pants that conformed to every curve, dip and hollow of his legs and hips. While his snowy, linen shirt accentuated the sheer mass of his chest and width of his broad shoulders it also gave him a sort of boy-ish look if one did not know him.

The absence of his usual armor caused me to see Nakago as a man, a very bad man indeed, but just a man. My heart was racing, I knew that I had past the point of no return and it terrified me. I slowly got to my feet watching his every move, waiting for him to drop that teasing grin and kill me.

He graciously held out his hand to me and led me to the table. Once I was seated, he unfurled a silk napkin and placed it over my lap, then he began to serve the meal to me as if I were someone important… or his lover. "Eat as much as you wish, no one is in this camp except you and me. We will not be disturbed."

I eyed him again, shifting nervously on the thickly cushioned floor mat. _He seems almost nice, why hasn't he killed me yet?_ I wondered as my gaze flicked surreptitiously from the plate to him to the door, judging how fast I might need to be if things don't go according to my plans.

Nakago sighed softly, watching and waiting for me to either finish eating or run for it… at this point I didn't know which one I was going to do.

I bowed my head and sighed. I was only putting off the inevitable by sitting here calmly eating everything in sight. I put down my chopsticks and rose to my feet.

Nakago rose as well, "Finished?"

I nodded as I unbuttoned my coat and let it slip from my body revealing my disheveled state to his widening eyes.

"Payment for dinner?" His voice was calm, almost as if he knew what I was doing here.

"No, payment for the Shinzaho, Nakago. You can have my body if you give it back." My voice was quiet, my shame and fear making me sound small and meek.

Nakago nodded and took the Shinzaho from around his neck, placing it in a wooden box. "If you go through with this the box will open and you can take it if you wish, forfeiting will mean that you want me to keep it." His voice stayed clam and monotone, "Make your choice, Priestess of Suzaku."

My fate was set in stone. "Let's get this over with," I answered as my surprisingly steady hands released the last three buttons of my shirt and pulled it from my shoulders. _You can do this Miaka, just close your eyes and picture someone you love and you'll have the Shinzaho in no time… if he doesn't kill you in the process. Tasuki! Tamahome! Someone… give me the strength to do this!_

o0o\

Tasuki and Tamahome raced through the darkening night, dodging this way and that around obstacles in their path. An air of urgency surrounded the two young men as they tore through the night searching for the one person neither one could do without. Their minds were carefully blank to keep unwanted images of what could be happening to their highly distressed priestess.

Miaka's anguish and fear tore at the two seishi's hearts, driving them to push themselves as well as their mounts to the breaking point. Neither man understood the waves of tormented fear and disgust that beat against their breast, they only knew that they didn't have much time to save the woman that meant more to them than breathing.

_Miaka no baka! What the hell are you doing out here alone? You were supposed to be with Taiitsukun recovering! You had better not be doing anything stupid, Miaka no baka or I swear, tears or no tears, I'll put you over my knee and swat your backside until it glows!_ Tamahome allowed his anger to keep the fear at bay, anything to take his mind off of the very real possibility of Miaka being in mortal danger.

Tasuki spared a glance over at his companion, noting the almost tangible anger that fairly exploded off of the other man. _Don't worry Tama, we will get there in time. Miaka, please just hold on!_

o0o/

Nakago stepped forward, closing the gap between our bodies and pulling me in to a painful embrace. This was not the sweet, almost boy-ish caress of Tamahome nor was it the electrifyingly passionate hold that Tasuki had briefly shown me; this was all about sex. Plain and simple, there were no pretty lines or sweet kisses. This was base, primal and utterly frightening!

The man now ravaging my mouth and defiling my curves with his oily touch cared nothing about tenderness; passion was mocked by his harsh handling of my person as he tore the clothes from my body and snaked his hands over my bared skin.

The coppery tang of blood fairly coated my tongue as his forceful kiss shredded my lips against my own teeth and when I attempted to cry out in pain he deepened the punishing kiss, spearing his tongue in to my mouth. This was the most carnal kiss I had ever been subjected to, his thick tongue darting in to flick against my own almost as if he wanted me to participate.

A shudder of disgust chased down my spine as I felt his hands slide down my back to rest briefly on my backside before pulling my hips forward and grinding against me. Something hard pressed in to my belly and I was taken back to earlier when Tasuki had held me in a similar embrace. Tears welled in my eyes at the memory.

Nakago ground against my belly again and it finally dawned on me exactly _what_ was being pressed so adamantly against me. _Is that his…? Oh gods! I can't do this! Not with him, like this! Someone help me!_

With a burst of adrenaline I was able to tear myself from his grasp and race to the doorway of the yuurt, but Nakago was faster.

"Leaving so soon?" His arms came around my waist, pulling me back against his chest. "I don't think so. You plan to let me keep the Shinzaho? You know that that is what you forfeit by leaving," he breathed against my ear.

"NO!" I screamed my fear taking over my rational thought, "I can't do this!"

The sound of Nakago's laughter filled my ears as pain crashed into my skull and I slipped in to blessed oblivion.

o0o/

An anguished scream rang out, breaking the stillness of the night. Tasuki and Tamahome's heads jerked up at the sound.

"MIAKA!" the men screamed in unison and kicked their horses in the direction of the scream, sending fervent prayers to Suzaku that they arrived in time.

The two men thundered through the darkness aware that they may be too late.

* * *

There ya go. Chapter 3 is all done. Hope ya like it; chapter 4 should be out soon! **From this point on is where things will deviate from the original.**


	4. Aftermath

Hell's Mirage

Hell's Mirage

**By:** V.M.

**Warnings:** Language, nudity, Nakago, and angst!

**A/N:** Hello again! Nice of you to see me. **Grins **This chapter is dedicated to Macha, my insatiable muse, who if not for her I would be begging forgiveness because of lateness of chapter postage. She has little knowledge of this series but, after just a few e-mails, managed to spit out an idea that saved my ass. **Bows deeply** THANK YOU MACHA!

**Part D: Aftermath**

A frown tightened Nakago's features as he adjusted his cape firmly in place over his newly donned dragon armor. With a raised brow he glanced over his shoulder at the half naked, unconscious girl that lay not three feet from him.

He had not been able to touch her once she was unconscious as a violent red energy had acted as a barrier and protected her from his advances. To look at her you would think he had succeeded.

Finger shaped bruises seemed to cup her chin attesting to where he had held her as he forced his kiss on her unwilling mouth. The ones that gave him the most satisfaction though, were the ones that graced her hip bones. The angry bluish purple marks were vibrant; they told of his possessive hold and would give Tamahome the 'proof' that his woman was indeed ruined. As an afterthought he had sliced his palm open and dripped his own blood between her parted thighs.

Turning to look closer at the abused Miko, he allowed his eyes to slowly travel over her form as if he were seeing the damage for the first time. He nodded, _She looks thoroughly 'loved'. Things are going to be interesting now. _With a smirk he turned away and left the yuurt.

The thunder of hooves greeted him as the cool night air caressed his exposed skin, causing his smirk to widen. Here was the chance to put things in motion, the look of torment his 'news' was sure to reveal on Tamahome's face would definitely be worth the trouble the chit had caused with her little barrier.

Nakago looked up and was slightly surprised to see two males baring down on him as their horses tramped down the slight slope leading down to his territory.

_This is going to be even better; not one but _two_ of the Suzaku Seven would 'know' of their priestess' downfall. Things just seem to be getting better and better!_

"Nakago! What the hell!" Tamahome bellowed in surprised anger as he leapt from his horse to stand a few feet from his adversary.

The red haired seishi glowered at the two males facing off and snorted in disdain. "This isn't a 'whose-cock-is-bigger' contest! Where is Miaka, Nakago?"

The blond Hin barely spared a glance at the redhead, intent on keeping Tamahome's attention. "Didn't you go to Sairou with the others?" At Tamahome and Tasuki's hate-filled glares the blond man continued; "The girl you are looking for is in the yuurt."

Tasuki slid out of the saddle and warily made his way around Nakago, intent on getting to Miaka.

"She has such soft skin." The whispered admission caused the two seishi to gasp in horror.

Nakago turned from Tamahome and Tasuki and walked a few steps away before stopping and tossing one last remark over his shoulder. "I thought of her as a child, but she definitely has the body of a woman."

Tasuki freed his tessen at almost the same moment Tamahome's oni symbol flared deep garish red, "LREKKA SHINEN!" Tasuki released his volley and dove for the doorway of the yuurt, desperate to get to his priestess.

Tamahome fired a blast of ki at Nakago, which smashed into the other man's shoulder melting the shoulder guard and left Tamahome stunned and staring at his hands in wonder. "Wha? How…?"

A flare of ki arrowed in to the ground directly in front of Tamahome who leapt to avoid it, and when Tamahome looked back his opponent was gone.

Storming into the yuurt Tamahome's eyes fell on the figure bowed over an unconscious woman on the floor. "Tasuki?" His voice trembled in fear, "who is that?"

o0o/

With a soft whoosh of air I had the tessen outta it's holster and ready to strike, "REKKA SHINEN!" I yelled the spell and fanned the flames at the blond demon before diving through the curtained doorway of the yuurt.

I rolled ta my feet and cautiously looked around for any sign of Miaka. The sight of her shirt laying on the floor made my skin freeze, the dark scraps of her skirt that littered the room caused my breath to hitch, the scrap of white linen that hung on a chair and the beaten sight of her nearly naked body made my heart shatter in my chest. There was no doubt in my mind that this is what Nakago meant when he uttered those words…_I thought of her as a child…but she definitely has the body of a woman._

It took a moment for my brain to realize what I was seein'. One scrap of material from the front of her skirt laid over the junction of her thighs an' allowed me to see that a small puddle of blood trickled over her most intimate area… he had taken the one thing that was only hers to give. The brutal finger marks that marred the pale skin, both hidden and exposed by the remnants of her skirt, brought the devastating horror of what exactly had been done to her crashing through my body.

My knees would no longer hold me and I sank to the ground next to her, pulling her torso into my lap. I haven't cried in ages, but I did right then. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as I hugged her unconscious body to mine. _I'm so sorry, Miaka. If only I hadn't left with Tamahome and the others this might not have happened. If only I had kept lookin' for ya after ya ran off…_

"Miaka… forgive me for lettin' this happen," I whispered to her as I pressed a soft kiss to her brow.

The sound of the curtained doorway swishing caught my attention and I tensed. "Tasuki," Tamahome asked, fear trembling in his voice. "Who is that?"

I sat back, giving him the same view I was shown. "Miaka…"

Tamahome dropped to his knees and crawled over to me, snatching her body from my grasp. "MIAKA!" His anguished cry rent the sorrowful stillness of the yuurt.

"Tama, we need t'get her outta here; take her to Mitsukake. Maybe he can heal her…?" My voice wavered as I watched my friend rock Miaka's prone form back and forth.

Tamahome nodded, "he can heal her… he has to." Tears rolled unchecked down his face as he turned to me, "Tasuki, please get the horses and a blanket to cover her with."

o0o/

Gentle swaying roused me from my sleep and I wondered where we were. _Are we almost to Sairou? Why do I ache so much? WAIT!_ Images of the last twenty-four hours tore through my mind like a ravenous wolf.

Nakago!

Horror rolled through me as I was forced to relive his unwanted embrace. Lancing pain shot through my heart as each ache and pain told the story of what that monster had done. _Warmth? Is someone holding me? Did Nakago take me with him to continue his sick delights! _I sat up abruptly, slamming my forehead into someone's jaw as I tore myself from his or her grasp and weakly tried to escape.

"Miaka! Come back!" The voice was familiar but in my terror I could not place the owner of the voice so I continued to run until a body crashed into mine and sent us both headlong in to the dirt.

I fought wildly, my desperation and fear lending me strength that I never knew I had. Biting and clawing, pushing and punching, struggling and squirming until I had nothing left but my attacker still held on.

A soft hand brushed over my face, wiping away the tears that had fallen in my desperate struggle to escape. Daring a look at my captor I was surprised to see Tasuki's sadly smiling face. "I've got ya Miaka, yer safe. Tamahome's here, too. Look," he said pointing up at the other man.

The look of anguish on Tamahome's face seemed to smooth out into a sad smile. "We're taking you to Mitsukake. He can heal you." He crouched down and tried to take me from Tasuki's warm embrace but I clung tightly to Tasuki's neck.

"No," I whispered; anger and fear drove me to say what needed to be said. "I don't want you touching me, Tamahome." At his shocked expression I pressed on, "I'm not going to marry you, Tamahome, I can't. Nakago took care of that."

Tamahome frowned, "It's not your fault! You didn't ask for this!"

I hung my head in shame, "But that's where you're wrong." I took a deep breath, "I went to him, traded myself in return for the Shinzaho. Told him I wouldn't fight back… but I lost my nerve and tried to escape. This was my punishment. I don't deserve you anymore, Tamahome, please just don't touch me."

"Miaka! If I had known that this was going ta happen I would _never _have shown you…"

"Miaka! You idiot! You could have died!"

Tasuki and Tamahome both spoke at the same time, their words over lapping. Tamahome looked at Tasuki, "What did you say?" Tamahome's voice was soft and almost deadly.

Tasuki's face drained of color. "She said it was for you!" he cried as he rolled away from me and got to his feet. "She said she wanted to know so's that when ya got married ya wouldn't be disappointed in her! I swear!"

Tamahome's oni symbol flared and pulsed blood red, and he gritted his teeth. "When we get back to the others, you and I are going to have a talk, Tasuki," he growled; his fists clenched in a defensive manner. "Miaka, you're injured and tired. Please, just be quiet and get back on the horse. After Mitsukake has checked you out, we'll talk about this."

Tasuki frowned but nodded, looking less than happy that he would have to tell Tamahome about our little encounter. "I didn't touch her, I swear. I told her what-"

"I said _enough_!" Tamahome roared then scrubbed his hands over his face. "I don't want to talk about it until I've had a little time to calm down. Please, Tasuki, just shut up."

Tasuki looked like he wanted to argue, but tightened his jaw and leaned down to help me up.

Everything was a mess and I had no idea how to fix it. Tamahome was angry and hurt, Tasuki had to be feeling more than a little used, and me; I was the cause of it all. As Keisuke would say, 'Miaka strikes again'.

* * *

All hail the angst! Ha haha ha! Anyway, That's it for this chapter. Was going to leave it here for good but I've been inspired by lovely reader comments to continue for awhile. **How is that for a little bit of a difference? :P Hope you like the new revisions.**


	5. Disbelief

Hell's Mirage

Hell's Mirage

**By: V.M.**

**A/N:** Hello again all, nice to see that you are following along. Hope I can keep your attention for the rest of this long and drawn out love story. Things will get a bit worse between our couple before they get better. Hence the mention of 'long and drawn out'. ENJOY!

**Warnings:** Language, brief nudity, and angst.

_**Rated 16+**_

_**Much love to my new beta, insatiable muse, good friend, loyal reader, compassionate reviewer, and fellow author, Miss KittyLynne. **_

Part E: Disbelief

I sat and stared at the pond in front of me, not really seeing it, instead I saw Nakago as he was while in the yuurt with me; leather pants, billowing white shirt, rakish smirk, and ice cold, blue eyes that would forever burn in my memory.

I didn't know when we got here, or even where 'here' was. All I knew was that Tamahome was angry with me me, Tasuki was upset that I had tricked him, and that bastard, Nakago, had taken the ultimate revenge.

My clothes were gone, and the uniform that had been my link to Yui was in tatters. Bless Tasuki- though I didn't deserve his kindness, he had given me the very shirt off his back, telling me not to worry about it, I needed it more than he did.

It was strange being in such a situation with him. Of all my seishi, even Chiriko and Mitsukake, I was sure I knew the least about Tasuki. That had made it easier to ask him the things that I had; because he was an unknown, I figured his opinion of me shouldn't matter.

It wasn't that I thought he was safe. To be honest, he was the only man other than Tamahome that could make me look twice at him. I didn't want to feel physically attracted to him; the very idea frightened me. The only way to deal with the swirl of emotions he provoked was to ignore him and keep my distance.

That wasn't an option now.

He was my protector, my sole outlet. As uneasy as he made me, I would have to trust him.

Tamahome had gone out to hunt for something for our dinner, which left Tasuki and me alone in camp. "Tasuki…" I whispered as he stepped into my line of sight. "Why are you taking care of me? Don't you feel like I used you?" I drew back as he crouched down beside me. "Never mind. I need to get clean."

Heedless of modesty and shame, I stood, stripped out of the borrowed shirt, and slowly waded into the water.

o0o/

She looked so lost and confused. Her world ended when Tamahome distanced himself from her and she got stuck with me, a no-account bandit she hardly knows, as her only form of communication.

She's hurtin' and I know she feels alone, but I won't let her _be_ alone. As a seishi of Suzaku it's my duty to keep her safe an' happy.

No problem with the safe, I c'n swing that. It's the happy part that has me worried.

Nakago really did a number on 'er; the bruises are still visible after two days. She's barely spoken; picked at the food Tama an' I forced on her, and, as far as I know, hasn't slept since we found her.

"Tasuki," she whispered. "Why are you taking care of me? Don't you feel a little used?"

I crouched down next to her, an answer forming on my lips, but she stopped me. "Never mind. I need to get clean."

She stood, stripped outta my shirt, and waded slowly into the water. As she walked away, I checked out the damage done to 'er body; dried blood streaked the insides of her thighs, vicious lookin' finger marks on her hipbones an' deep bruises dotted her cute little ass, all from the rough treatment that son-of-a-bitch had dished out.

I kept an eye on her from a distance, only panickin' when her head went under the water. I didn't know how to swim but she was almost no better; she had almost drowned herself tryin' to save me when I went overboard on our ship ride to Hokkan.

I breathed a sigh of relief when her head came back up, seein' that she had just wanted ta get her hair wet. My breath caught as she turned to look at somethin', and the shimmerin' light from the sunset was captured in her hair.

So_ this_ was what Tamahome saw every time he looked at her! Just seein' her tiny lil' body made my mouth go dry, my hands ached with wantin' to touch her skin just to see if it was as soft and perfect as it looked. She seemed so damn fragile, it made my heart hurt to look at her… and she didn't even know I was there.

Shakin' that thought from my mind, I stood an' wandered back to our dyin' fire, addin' a few more logs to keep it burnin'.

"Hey, Miaka? I'm gonna go check on Tama, okay?" I called out, hoping she'd answer. When she didn't, I looked over my shoulder- and almost screamed in shock.

She was standin' in hip deep water, scrubbing furiously at her arms with what looked like a handful of sand! Her already abused skin was grown' pink under the onslaught.

I stood and stared until I noticed that she was makin' herself bleed. Seein' that, I immediately toed off my boots and splashed into the water. Makin' my way over ta her, I stilled her hands. "Miaka, what the hell-?"

"It won't go away…" she whispered, interrupting me. Tears pooled in her eyes and she looked away. "The feel of his hands- it just won't go away!"

I hooked a finger under her jaw and gently turned her face to mine, "Miaka, it's gonna be alright. I won't let nothin' hurt ya anymore."

"NO!" she cried. "It'll never be alright! Can't you see? I've lost the right to summon Suzaku, Tamahome thinks I'm some sort of tramp and Nakago…" she trailed off. "I brought this on myself. You are released from your obligation. Go back to your bandits!"

_She thinks _that_ is the only reason I'm here? Can't she see that this business with Nakago doesn't make me see her any different?_ "I ain't goin' anywhere, so shut up!" I growled my anger over Tama's attitude finally makin' its appearance. "Tamahome's bein' an ass! If he could see past the end of his fuckin' nose, he'd understand that what you did was _heroic_! Ya wanted the Shinzaho back, and did everythin' in your power ta get it." I wrapped my arms tightly around her tiny frame, "Gods Miaka, can't you see how fuckin' _brave_ you are? You went ta _Nakago! _Ya _knew_ he'd probably be vicious with ya, but ya went _anyway_! That ain't a betrayal, its honor and courage!"

I stopped talking and held her, content to stroke her damp hair for as long as she'd permit it.

When I felt her small hands pushing against my chest I reluctantly let go and stepped back.

"Thank you, Tasuki. It means a lot to hear you say that." She said, tears slipping over her lashes. "I just wish Tamahome could see things the way you do…"

She turned away and I had no choice but to grit my teeth as I watched her shoulders shake with her sobs. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her again. "Don't worry about Tama. I'm sure that when he calms down he'll be right back here beggin' for your forgiveness." I told her firmly. "Until then, I want ya t know that ya ain't gonna be alone. When we find the others, we'll get Mitsukake ta heal those bruises. That'll help."

She turned in my embrace, tangling her fingers in the ends of my hair to hold me in place. "We can't tell the others!" She exclaimed. "Please, Tasuki, if you care for me at all, you can't tell them about what I tried to do with Nakago, or what he did to me! I'd die of mortification! They'd think the same way as Tamahome does! I couldn't bear that!"

I tightened my hold on her. "Miaka, can ya honestly tell me that ya think that guys like Chichiri, Chiriko, or Mitsukake would blame a woman for bein' _raped_?"

I heard her sigh. "No. They wouldn't."

I sighed in relief. "Then I don't wanna hear another word about not tellin' 'em. They may not have seen first hand what happened, but they felt your pain as much as I did an' Tamahome did. They have just as much right ta know how things are as we do, an' I'd hate ta hafta lie to 'em." At this, Miaka went rigid in my arms and I quickly tried reassurin' her. "Look, if it'll make ya feel better, I'll tell 'em after ya bed down for the night- that way ya don't hafta answer any questions. I'll do my best ta tell 'em what happened without goin' in ta much detail."

I pulled back a bit ta look into her face, and grinned when I saw her acceptance. "Ok, now I'm gonna go hunt up Tama and let ya finish your bath. Just don't use gravel to scrub; use the soapwort over there by that log. It'll get ya clean, but it won't hurt your skin."

I pulled away and turned to let her finish bathin' when her arms went around me from behind. "Thank you Tasuki, I feel much better now."

"And I feel a little sick."

My head snapped up and I was left lookin' at a royally pissed off Tamahome. "She was tryin' to use gravel on her skin, Tama. I just came out here to-"

"Shut. Up. Tasuki." Tama's voice grew colder and his eyes narrowed. "I can almost believe your story about the lessons, but I can't think that anything was innocent with this scene. She's naked and hanging all over you. You two aren't doing a very good job of convincing me of your innocence."

o0o\

We had all felt it; something terrible had happened to Miaka. Chichiri, Mitsukake and I agreed that we would leave out in the morning to bring our missing brothers and priestess back with all due haste.

Chichiri was meditating off to one side, away from Mitsukake and myself, while my other brother seishi dozed lightly a few feet in the other direction from me.

Things had gotten quiet after we felt the strong fear and pain emanating off of our priestess. I didn't understand what was wrong with Miaka; I just knew that she was hurting. My brothers seemed to understand what was going on, but had staunchly refused to elaborate when I asked them to explain.

All I could do was sit and wait for morning to come, my curiosity was eating me alive from the inside but I knew it would do no good to bother the other seishi with my questions.

Picking at the sparse foliage, I pulled a single leaf off of a nearby shrub. I had always been able to relax when singing and whistling, so it stood to reason that doing so now could help ease my troubled mind.

I began trying to lighten my mood by playing a favorite tune from my early childhood- 'The Farmer in the Dell' After a couple of traditional renditions, both instrumental and vocal, sudden inspiration prompted me to play around with the words. A surge of hilarity almost overcame me as I set aside my leaf flute and began to sing in the style of the eldest Suzaku seishi.

"Konichi wa, no da! Konichi wa, no da! Ko-oh-oh- nichi wa, Konichi wa, no da!"

By the time I reached the end of the shortened song my voice was loud enough to have attracted the attention of the other camp inhabitants.

"Chiriko, are you teasing me, no da?" Chichiri laughed as he moved closer to sit beside me.

I grinned at him. "Konichi wa, no da! Konichi wa, no da! Ko-oh-oh- nichi wa, Konichi wa, no da!" I sang out.

Mitsukake's soft rumble of laughter mingled with Chichiri's higher tenor as they joined in and sang along with me and the rest of the night was filled with the lyrics of what was soon to be known as 'Chichiri's Jingle'. Our hearts lighter, and our minds much clearer, we enjoyed our newfound camaraderie. _Surely the power of our lifted spirits couldn't fail to transcend the distance between our priestess and us,_ I thought hopefully.

The evening wore on, and the intensity of Miaka's pain did seem to diminish. Chichiri, Mitsukake and I rejoiced at the lessening of her hurt, and continued to sing well into the night. By the time sleep claimed us, I felt much closer to her and to my brother seishi.

_Funny how being silly can draw people together, and calm the most distraught mind…_ With that thought, I slipped into a peaceful slumber, unaware of the heartbreak that was soon to fill our midst.

* * *

So, some interesting developments- wonder what's going to happen? Will the gray-eyed man with anger in his heart succeed? What heartbreak could this vicious author have up her sleeve for the silly seishi? Well, you're just gonna have to tune in next time to find out.

Much love to my wonderful reviewers! "tacklehuggleglomps!" You're the best!

**All of you must have noticed the major difference from the last version by now. It's too hard to keep Tamahome as an outward evil and leave Tasuki and Miaka in situations for which Tamahome was present in canon. Tasuki was the addition to the tent scene with Nakago, so he was a little bit of an addition to the pond scene as well –though he had a bigger part in this than Tama did. Also, after re-watching the series, I find it too hard to believe that Tama would willingly leave her behind. Even if he felt betrayed by both Tasuki and Miaka, he would still stay around. He is a seishi first and foremost.**


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